Lizard

I got my mother a lizard for Mother's Day! So, I was gonna get her a bird, 'cause she's always wanted a bird. But we already have a cat, a dog, and a guinea pig, and she said that a bird would A) be too much work and B) it would be impossible to keep the cat away from it. So I went with a lizard, instead. I thought it would be relatively simple. We already have an old tank, so I figured I'd just go buy the lizard, some bedding, and some food and then I'd call it a day.

WRONG.

So I get to the store, and then I realize that I don't actually have a lid for the tank (it was previously a fish tank). Okay, so I get the lid, and that's about ten dollars. The lizard itself is also ten dollars. I start to read the little pamphlet to figure out what this thing needs. Well, turns out that I need a twenty-five dollar heating lamp so that it can have a "basking area". Fine. So then, logically, I need to buy the twelve dollar thermometer/hydrometer gizmo to make sure that the thing is actually getting enough heat. But then I needed to get it a five dollar climbing vine so it could "have a high escape/hiding spot". Did I mention that it also needed a seven dollar log 'toy' to keep itself occupied? *sigh* Okay. So I finally start reading the food requirements. The pamphlet says to get crickets and/or mealworms. So I grab a bottle of dried crickets and a ten dollar sack of bedding and I head up to the register to claim my lizard. The pet store lady is looking over my purchases and she says, "Oh, they won't eat dead crickets. You have to get live ones." *shudders* FINE. I'll get the damn live crickets. But then, not only do I have to buy five dollars worth of crickets, I also have to buy the six dollar plastic house to put them in. And then I had to buy..... CRICKET FOOD.

Yes, that's right. I had to buy food for the food. So I pick up the four dollar "cricket gel" and I think that I'm finally done. Oh, but then the lady says, "Well... it's really better if you get some mealworms too, that way he'll have a little variety in his diet." Fine. FINE. FINE! I'll get the mother effing mealworms at five dollars/fifty worms. I say to the lady, "Wow, I didn't think this would be so complicated." And she says to me, "If you wanted simple, you should've gotten a bird."

*headdesk*

Oh, well. She did give me life and all that jazz, so I guess it's still a good deal on my end.

Anne Frank and Jackie Warner

So. I made a blog. (Yeah, I know. "Aye-aye, Cap'n Obvious!")

blog(noun): A personal journal of sorts that the author typically deludes him or herself into thinking others will read and take interest in.

You know who's probably the most famous blogger ever? Anne Frank. I read that the first time around, and I was all "Oh my God, that was so.....DEEP." So then I was talking to my friend about it, and she says to me, "You know, if you had taken all of the Holocaust references out of it, it'd just be a big fat waste of time. People only read it because she died a tragic death. Seriously. Who really cares what she had for dinner or if she kissed Peter? It's just a bunch of mindless teenage girl bullshit."

And she kind of has a point. Not to be down on Anne or disrespectful towards the Holocaust, but, seriously: Who freakin' cares?
*deepbreath*

Okay, tangent over.

So anyway. Workout is on tonight. I love Workout. It's my guilty pleasure. I feel like such a poser watching it, because I'm such a lazy fat-ass. I'd much rather watch someone else work themselves into a sweat then move more than the required distance between me and the remote. I just don't get how people can actually enjoy working out. I really, really don't get it. Oooh, feel the burn. How can you possibly want to do something like that? Not to mention that while half of the trainers are in tip-top shape, the other half are either bullemic or just disgustingly built to the point of repulsion. *shudders* But I love to watch Jackie and Peeler go at it, it's like watching two little kids. As much as I like Jackie, though, she's really being a total bitch to him, and he really doesn't deserve to be treated like shit. But, hey. It's her gym and she can do whatever the fuck she wants. It really is her way or the highway, and if he doesn't like it, then he can leave. I was sad when he got fired; I'm gonna miss his dumb accent. I hope the show keeps on interviewing him for a little while, it would just suck if they didn't. Oooh, what's gonna happen with his SkyLab client???? I bet Jackie will just take over like she did when Doug got sick. *sigh*

I am such a freak.